AFEARED

Folder: 
JOURNAL #9

I kissed your loving lips but I obviously kissed them

too hard

for now you are crawling about on the rejection laden

floor

lost like looking for the first key tarot card

spiritless death nearly becomes you as you tirelessly

search

though I never once truly loved you which for  now

the very same you my heart has started to lurch

poor man! is it solely my fault that I was/am unable to

love you the way a man deserves to be loved

in retrospect though I ponder should I have for warned

you that every touch I attempt was/is through a hand

and heart so cleverly gloved

so, tell me, just what would be appropriate in the next

contest of mutual attraction verses forbidden conversation

and why is it that the only yet squandered emotion that

comes to mind now is the intense, pounding aggravation

assure me that we will miss not again the moment that

fails to comply

and please hate me not for misunderstanding an emotion

I did not feel

but in my failure to at least once again try

to obtain a semblance of something almost tangibly

real..............

( written Jan. 16, 1993 am)


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