where does my last true breath fall
in the mist of the 'after tomorrow'
upon the gates of such graphic
nostalgia stabbed
I hear the lamplights still hissing
to life
I am beyond this night mare I call you
or so I must believe
the police tell me
you will be the one hurting
when you go to jail
in unfazed response
I smile a weary small smile
feeling like
in that promised moment
I will be almost like you
I still can not stomach that fleeting feeling
those policemen's words gave to me
my soul still rises
every now so often in me to shush the terror
that, that one thought can bring............
(written Nov. 5, 2002 1045pm)