CRIPPLED CRAWL

Folder: 
JOURNAL#3

I set beside myself to address this letter with
my poisonous blue pen
I don't often rebel against my subconscious
thoughts only every now and zen
I can only stop when someone I love tells me when
perhaps my wit in that respect is somewhat dim
I feel a strong draw from my pages and pages of
completed poems
I wish I could say I do, but by heart, I truly do
not know them
just when I think I've had about enough
all at once I call my own blasted bluff
when I hear the beck and call of pent up
and frustrated originality
I just can't ignore its high pitched lonesome
plea
the general populous around me thinks I'm totally
loony tunes
not really knowing that I have been more than just
a little sane for many, many moons
if I stopped writing I think I might soon die
the idea may sound absurd but its my only reasonable
reply
these words on paper sound so senseless and pathetic
I wonder who could possibly stand to listen on
to all my resounding rhetoric
at times I present myself to be the grim reaper
incarnate
my selfish and temperamental tendencies rarely if ever
dissipate
my tactful thoughts have centered themselves and
become quite single minded
to the cool smooth sharpening stone
my mental axe I have many times before grinded
I believe Shakespeare would have patted me on the
back for what I have managed to so far achieve
I assuage my mind and silence my soul
even when I pin my heart on my sleeve
it can be done
why, even the severest cynic would agree
and or believe
to my breast this hard won concept
I courageously cleave.........
(written April 17,1991)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

speaking of the internal sub conscious struggle that likely goes on deep in my poetic head as I am writing..........cause sometimes as I'm writing the creative door just feels to me like it just closes on me and I have to draft what I have so far and stop as nothing else will come out.

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