PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

the workings of wishes is a cruel occupation
one that it seems would require a lengthy
explanation
oh Lord, I have started crying now
I'll let this page and pen be my proffered towel
as I dry my wet eyes, maybe I'll be able to wipe
away all that his hatred implies
have I lost all of what little self esteem I have
managed so far to acquire
If I have, does that mean I'll step further into
my own fire
you say my greatest fault was/is/will be desire
you are the definition of a coward and a liar
in your eyes I have tangible proof
it's in your attitude as well and the way you project
yourself to be almost aloof
I'm not so ignorant that I can't guess your spine
chilling motive
for your handsome hide the benefit of the doubt I
won't graciously give
the hell I knew, today in my mind is so very vivid
your amnesia to your behavior makes me cynically
hard and quite livid
the state of fact remains the same
your love was a pretense that went on in vain
maybe you did love me and I was just too naive
to tell
if I could know the absolute truth for this my soul
I would gladly sell
why is there constantly an obstacle of
destructive determination in our path
in the pit of my unsatisfied soul there is a
disquieted faithless funeral laugh
we have to keep in our sight just how funny
all of this really is
who knows one day on this soured subject we'll
be forced to take a quiz
will our paths ever cross again without creating
another ugly scene
or could we make our inevitable meeting in future
work if we now break it off clean
why do I still feel so abusive and mean
must I continue to fight these pesterous feelings
sight unseen
I think I'll now hand over my pained yet pampered
memories to the back of my mind to store in its
darkened attic
I don't ever wish to hold these self doubts over
my own head again
of this I am most emphatic.........
(written Feb 18,1991)