PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I served my purpose

whatever that was

now with my cowardly veneer I must make amends

but first I question should I reveal my

repetitious stupidity to my closest friends

will I ever be able to forgive him along with my

naive, subservient self

almost everything is less painful in total

retrospect

he degraded my dreams

squandered reality

and showed no immediate concern for me

if any then little respect

I try to shadow the whole incident

in an objective manner but more often than not

I tend to bitterly reflect

I sometimes feel unloved, unwanted, lifeless and

deject

but there is in all this mess and tragedy

one redeeming quality and noted aspect

the future for me I'm prepared to face if I choose

and do so elect

hopefully though with no remorse

or perverse ill affect

he was a connoisseur of mental abuse and verbal

assault

he perfected his ability to make me  believe

I deserved his temper because I was the one

at fault

his school yard bully like behavior

I rarely rebelled against when I got caught

it is of the utmost importance to rebuild one's

self respect

this on my part was completely self taught

I still don't believe in unconditional love

when the words are associated directly with me

but I believe in survival, skill, perseverance,

motivation and ability............

(written Feb 2,  1991)