THAT HATEFUL ACHE

Folder: 
JOURNAL#2

good morning heart, are you still in there
and if so, are you taking for yourself
well and good care
do you have any love in you left for me to spare
there's no other way to protect you
than to hide you out of harm's way
so if you are wise, stay where you are
please just stay
don't feel anything and don't hurt and don't let
out of my mouth a single breathless love word
blurt
he still has the power to make me sweat and
ache deep inside
but to keep myself safe I remember the promise
to my heart by that I must abide
am I really such a witless fool
he was only by inadvertently being cruel
what little resistance I have left in myself I pool
my traitorous emotions I repeatedly school
He looked so handsome tonight
I had to separate my head and heart to prevent
a punishing yet pathetic fight
in close proximity within my silly self I hopelessly
quivered
dear safely hidden heart, do you think he noticed
that at his casual touch I lightly shivered?
and can I be seriously blamed for being so
damned Lily livered?
I hope I haven't been so readily apparent
do you think my awkwardness was to him
anywhere near transparent
I wish him well and all the very best
into my hampered, hidden, hasty heart
do be my guest.........
(written Jan.27,1991)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

me in my youth typically in love and or getting over it............or rather trying to.

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