BEING NOT COMPLETELY THERE

Folder: 
JOURNAL#2

shall I tell you a story of a man I used to know

about let's say around 7 to 10 years ago

he's not the same man today

no, not at all

he's not the man who had me so enchanted and

enthralled that at his feet I would readily fall

maybe my use of words is a little bit raw

but these malcontent memories chasing each other

around in my head do still seem to gall

right now my mind is buzzing like a drone

as I talk of him

this so very special man

in my lyrical thoughts there is a softer and nmore

sensuous tone

into the precious past my heart is thrillingly

thrown

I wonder now if he would be here if then he had

known

today I find myself at an almost impossible impasse

If one person just mentioned his  name to me I think I'd shatter like glass

I am starting to feel very drained

to speak ill of him makes me almost ashamed

I'm just lashing back in my own face

it's my way of putting him  back in his rightful

place

I have no more stones left to throw

so, I guess I'm asking you, these memories,

to let me go...............

(written Jan 25,1991)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I believe this is about my huge secret crush on Bobby Rhymer as I vaguely recall him coming into the store I worked in after a long time and talking to me so sweet as he was never aware I had a huge crush on him when long ago before that I suspected he too had a crush on me but neither one of us was very brave so we just laughed and talked and walked around on egg shells around each other. All my friends told me I was blind he obviously had a huge crush on me but I was never brave enough to voice the matter with him nor confess openly my own feelings for him.

View palewingedpoetess's Full Portfolio