I've fallen in love
and it hurts so much
just to see his smile
or feel his touch
he doesn't love me
this to myself I must confess
its a shame to feel so unloved
while another feels so blessed
he'll always be my friend
this I had to learn the hard way
I just wish as lovers we could
always stay
he doesn't see the whole picture
as I seem to do
but maybe he'll be forced to see it
a little too clearly once we are through
his will be a loss I'm not so sure how
I'll take
way deep down inside I do so tenderly ache
I try to be happy
living for the moment and carefree
but its hard when I know he never loved me
as deeply
this is my pay back
my arm for an arm and eye for an eye
all I ask is why do I have to pay now
why oh why?
I give and give hoping he will give back
something of himself
yet still I receive no tender
what is it I seem to lack
rejection discriminates against no gender
even now, I wonder would I take him back
how much longer can this "as is, no questions
asked" continue to be
with me wanting him more than he obviously
wants me
I've committed a cardinal sin
never, ever fall in love with a friend
for you lose the love and the friendship both
in the end..................
(written Dec 4,1988)