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I've fallen in love

and it hurts so much

just to see his smile

or feel his touch

he doesn't love me

this to myself I must confess

its a shame to feel so unloved

while another feels so blessed

he'll always be my friend

this I had to learn the hard way

I just wish as lovers we could

always stay

he doesn't see the whole picture

as I seem to do

but maybe he'll be forced to see it

a little too clearly once we are through

his will be a loss I'm not so sure how

I'll take

way deep down inside I do so tenderly ache

I try to be happy

living for the moment and carefree

but its hard when I know he never loved me

as deeply

this is my pay back

my arm for an arm and eye for an eye

all I ask is why do I have to pay now

why oh why?

I give and give hoping he will give back

something of himself

yet still I receive no tender

what is it I seem to lack

rejection discriminates against no gender

even now, I wonder would I take him back

how much longer can this "as is, no questions

asked" continue to be

with me wanting him more than he obviously

wants me

I've committed a cardinal sin

never, ever fall in love with a friend

for you lose the love and the friendship both

in the end..................

(written Dec 4,1988)