Mcguire, Mcguire now I have gone
you will dance and laugh and carry on
I will be miserable, displaced and completely
lost
you will continue as you have no matter what
the cost
I have been riding so long I don't know
exactly where I am
I only know that the time had come for me
to scram
the toll has rung noon thirty
I'm tired, mussed, hungry and dirty
I am all alone
I now have no one
you don't want me but still it is to you
that I wish I could run
I made a mistake the other night
I truly do wish that I could wish it dead
but that still wouldn't make my wrong right
to be said
I miss you
hell, I missed you before I even left
while you talked quietly with Billy C.
completely ignoring me
I feel so utterly bereft
how am I to carry on without seeing your
little hitler-like face
I pray I will be alright once I'm back at my safe
home base
I'll never forget you Mcguire
you were an element in that month of October
that my heart seemed to require
I'm out of my teeny weiney little mind for sending
this to you
but this was something that I had to do
of course I bet before I even sent it to you
you knew it would be there
some collection of misplaced words
for even though you think I'm a slut puppy
now you know I still care
I can't seem to stop
for you, there are not any well described thoughts
to explain just how I feel
all I know is at the time to me those feelings were
very very real
these feelings held priority over business I know you
find this hard to swallow
sometimes I wish in your footstepsI could follow
I refuse to confess just whom I was with that single
stolen night
all I can say is that when he held me he pushed away all my loneliness and made things feel almost right
the thing is my heart somehow knew that he wasn't you
no matter how hard my traitorous body tried to tell it
what to do
It wasn't just simple sex Mcguire
it was an almost desperation for someone tender to show me that they cared
for just me
why, you know just to get one of your
sweet long kisses
I had to make an eight doe one-sixty in which
you dared
I hurt so bad later that night I felt like
a badly beaten pup
after that cold exchange of words
I went back to my room and for the first time in
years
promptly threw up
for you bartered with and for something you knew
I wanted very much
your love returned
it was wrong to throw that abrupt reality in my face
and take away my one reliable crutch
perhaps I fell in love with you because I was so
suddenly far away from home
no, that's not it
I will always remember you should it be
while the entire world I rome
I love you Mcguire, go ahead and laugh for indeed
it is so so true
It was once said, "Let Dead Dogs lie" but if you let them lie for too long they too often tend to stew
It wasn't the sex I sought
it was more so the closeness that you wouldn't or
couldn't seem to give
all that I am ashamed of though is how bluntly I let it be known
of my undeniable love and admiration for you
I will remember you in the wholeof my entire lifetime
and onward through
so this is a aloha Mcguire, arevaderci and an adios
Goodbye to the man who meant the most.........
(written Nov 8,1987)