DISMISSING LANCELOT

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JOURNAL#15

desire is an ancient ruin

and many a man

has ventured out to that cruel chasm

with his heart bravely unsheathed

galloping blithely ahead like a beast

ready for the momentum

or so he ignorantly thinks

he parries for his just reward

LOVE

a gently thrown hanker chief

upon a most foul ground

we call such harsh unforgiving terrain

LIFE

there is no challenge greater

nor any gauntlet more precious

so very easy is this elusive being to covet

yet so very difficult to restrain

man pits himself against far better judgments

shaking himself to wonder

who is the greater fool

HE

or his desperately uncertain love

my but the hands grow numb

yet how their angry fists clench

to correct a thought to be wrong

being alone never felt more lonely

until the vague possibility of love

glares back at a previously only pale

existence

so leave me

as I am awash in self doubt and disgust

my wretched mistake has met its death

upon the now too obvious blade of cold and

unforgiving lust

self loathing

has never before felt so uncontrollably mean....

(Nov. 10,1996)

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