I wish I had a dad
to have a dad would be so rad
I look like him I'm told
I even resemble his actions some ten fold
I wish he and I could talk about anything just once
why, I could live on that very thought for months
maybe that's why I've been so weird as of late
I wonder as a daughter to him how I would rate
I think my dad and I could be friends
we'd probably like the same kind of jokes and
current trends
mom says occasionally I'm like him in a lot of ways
the way he was in his younger days
I wish he could be alive again
even if only for just one day
then maybe he and I could just take a long walk
together or simply just clown around and play
I'm very lonely right now
I wish I had my dad to hold me for awhile
I never knew him but still I miss having him around
these past few years this I have frightfully found
there are so many things I'd like to ask him like
what was mom like when she was my age?
he knew her then
I wish I knew why, I can talk to mom
but I don't I've always been afraid to ask her
personal questions about my father
I guess I've always been afraid she would say she
doesn't want to talk about him and that it's just
too much of a bother
I love my mom very much! Don't get me wrong
I just wish daddy was here to help support us
and her and occasionally be the one to be strong
mom has had it so rough
she's had to be tough
I want someone to love me
the real me
and sort of fill that empty place that my not having
a father has left
I feel so terribly, desperately lonely and bereft
I feel left out
I can't remember him
but everyone else can
to my own knowledge I never even held his hand
I wish I knew what his voice sounded like
calling my name
what he looked like when he got up in the morning
and maybe even if he knew how to roller skate
or change a pipe in the kitchen drain
it would be neat to just wake up one summer morning
and see him mowing the lawn
and sometimes its so hard to believe he's never been
here to my memory
and yet he'll always be gone...........
(written Oct 29,1988)