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BEYOND PAINTED RIDGE
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JOURNAL #13 you so aged
standing in the shadow of promise
hail me as quite shallow no doubt
without looking beyond my carefully
woven myth
not a soul could discover what it is
that I am truly about
pure love
not vanity and its mystical reflection
a life filled with cameras behind lifeless
mirrors
under all that cold superficiality
there stands a near insurmountable wall
of uninterfered protection
if the silence could kill
my numerous wounds would be great
the master of perfect indifference
how often you appeared
at my weakest moment you informed me
we must wait
words that could only further isolate
what I then most feared
temporary rejection yet rejection all
the same
if misery had her very own twin she would
likely possess my name
so, goodbye again
even now, I must make myself leave
the only man I've ever loved
who made his life's work out of pushing me
away
if not, then what else would you have me to
believe.................
(Aug. 4, 1995)
