CELIBATE FLAW

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JOURNAL #9

its been a lot longer than it seems

tell me, why is that

I don't even have anymore the right kind of dreams

the ones that leave a body frustrated and sweating out flat

have I lost the true essence of the inner drive

has the ultimate somehow though unknowingly been

achieved

without my own realizing just when such conclusions

arrived

I had been brought to look before I was even partially

believed

standing before such self confrontation takes more guts

than that of an enraged dinosaur

it takes strength to change and say I won't take this form

of second best anymore

so I train my eyes of green away from the floor of

yet rejected fright

and turn on all the lights to extinguish the darkness and to

such black I say one final goodnight.........

(written March 9,1993 am)

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