Don't even want to think it
Much less say it
Or write it
But even so I feel it
This is way too much to deal with
I can't believe this
Life was going smoothly
please don't do this to me
It seems obvious but i won't agree
There is no way it could be
This can't happen now
and probably never
It'd screw things up with her forever,
Can't suspect his love when hers is better
She would never understand
She thinks he's her man
This wasn't part of the plan,
So I really don't think I can.
It fees so wrong to wonder,
but crazy not to even consider,
everybody figured,
It's true it creates quite the picture:
Enemies then random lovers,
to very good friends
Who laughed at the questions
of our true affections.
We love eachother,
but like sister and brother,
neither gets jealous when the other has another.
See even if this could somehow progress,
it'd be a huge mess.
Eventually I'd have to confess,
it'd all be way too much stress.
That's why all this needs to stop before it starts,
'cause it can't get to my heart,
that would tear me apart,
and i don't need that pain,
too much on my brain,
I don't want to live with heartache ever again..
So how do I push the thoughts away?
They have been creeping in every day,
but damn, i know they can't stay.
So I'll tell myself it's nothing at all,
I'll be damned if I begin to fal,
My heart can't flutter when he calls.
So goodbye to that fantasy,
who knows if its meant to be?
But if so, no worries
'cause it will find its way to me
For now though
I need to be free.
4/26/05