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Don't even want to think it

Much less say it

Or write it

But even so I feel it

This is way too much to deal with

I can't believe this

Life was going smoothly

please don't do this to me

It seems obvious but i won't agree

There is no way it could be

This can't happen now

and probably never

It'd screw things up with her forever,

Can't suspect his love when hers is better

She would never understand

She thinks he's her man

This wasn't part of the plan,

So I really don't think I can.

It fees so wrong to wonder,

but crazy not to even consider,

everybody figured,

It's true it creates quite the picture:

Enemies then random lovers,

to very good friends

Who laughed at the questions

of our true affections.

We love eachother,

but like sister and brother,

neither gets jealous when the other has another.

See even if this could somehow progress,

it'd be a huge mess.

Eventually I'd have to confess,

it'd all be way too much stress.

That's why all this needs to stop before it starts,

'cause it can't get to my heart,

that would tear me apart,

and i don't need that pain,

too much on my brain,

I don't want to live with heartache ever again..

So how do I push the thoughts away?

They have been creeping in every day,

but damn, i know they can't stay.

So I'll tell myself it's nothing at all,

I'll be damned if I begin to fal,

My heart can't flutter when he calls.

So goodbye to that fantasy,

who knows if its meant to be?

But if so, no worries

'cause it will find its way to me

For now though

I need to be free.



4/26/05