Why can't we be friends?

sometimes

my stomach lips

in an uncomfortable

nauseating way

when I hear your name

whispered through my mind.

sometimes

I can't help but smile

when you do something silly

and I can't help but frown

when you're listening to sad songs

and letting them get you down.

sometimes

I cringe

when I think about how far things went -

I kick myself

for slipping into 4-wheel drive so quickly.

sometimes

I almost wish

we never met

especially since

neither one of us is ready for this mess.

sometimes

I wish things were different

inside out

and all around,

like our lives were etch-a-sketches

so I could shake it up

and start over again

trying to make a prettier picture.

sometimes

I just want to be around you

beause you make me smile

and make me forget.



You didn't fill the void.

It just somehow disappeared.

but sometimes

I almost wish it was there again

so I had something else to obsess over

instead of where the hell I stand.



But mostly,

mostly I grin

with stupid, soothing happiness

contentment

because

it's been a long time since I had someone I could count on

and I always enjoy spending time with you.

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