Quarrel of the soul

The tears roll down my cheek

as malicious words pierce through me

 

Rejected from my first breath, if memory serves me right

is this just a test or is this my fate?

 

A round yellow caplet, prescribed to me

yet how does one change ones’ personality?

 

Thoughts inside my mind

dark, lifeless and unkind…

 

Do I have left some inner strength to fight…

the demons and fears that keep me awake at night?

 

Reminded of my pain and all so clear past

by scars still visible and engraved in my arms

 

My coloured vision now turned grey

my will to live… slipping away

 

What is the point of this daily routine?

all of this pain, to barely live, for paper stained green?

 

Countless tears, to what end?

to be judged, rejected and thrown away and then still instructed to “just breathe, count to ten…”

 

A pool of darkness lies ahead of me

Should I just close my eyes and jump... will I then finally be free?

 

Or will I find the warmth and light that my soul craves

would it be better for those who need to “deal” with me?

 

Or will they then finally be able to see

how my heart tried to be brave…?

 

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