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Whispers
I thought I heard your whispers
As I walked beneath the trees.
But I guess I was mistaken...
Just the rustling of the leaves.
I thought I heard you call me
In the cool and fragrant dawn.
It must have been the magic
Of your voice that lingers on.
Soft and so expressive,
Enchanting as a charm,
A wonder, as intensely
Your whispered words disarm.
A distant thought yet haunts me.
I love you truly still.
You never really loved ME.
Never did and never will.
lovely piece
You DID hear my whispers! You DID sense the call of your name in dawn's fragrance! (What an INSPIRER YOU ARE!).
With your permission, I will assign myself a "double-ten", i.e., I'll pick TWO words from each of your stanzas, plus two of my own (prob. Fr.), & expand on them. You are such a mellow Chick, Ms. Dixie!!
"Poe" I'm not, nor "Rich" am I,
but I'll be famous, b'ye and b'ye !
Just can't help but wonder how a blind lady would read my poems; Braille?? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....??
An analysis of your posting here could suggest nothing in the way of improvement except those famous "three little words: MORE MORE MORE!" This DOES seem to be the FIRST STANZA of a longer work, but, as they SAY: "all of our past is but prologue", & what has gone before...both bitter & sweet...merely awaits completion in a future day, perhaps on another Plane of Existence; but one's poetry CAN be transcendent, can it not?? ( "J'.....me" )
"Poe" I'm not, nor "Rich" am I,
but I'll be famous, b'ye and b'ye !
You did great with this challenge. Turned out to be a really great poem! Too bad it had to end the way it did!
Hee Hee!!
Peace and love ~~~ Dougie ~~
This was really good. *smile*
Thanks for playing Tinsley's game.
~S
Excellent!! Well, done. I really like what you did with the choice of words.
We will have to play this little game often!
>^..^<