him and what he did

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my poems

he acts so calm
he hides it so well
just so no one can tell
so no one can see
the pain that he has caused to me
years in therapy
talking to her wouldnt have helped
having no friends
this is the damage he has caused
but has he been fased at all
no of course not
he didnt care or even think
he just started touching me
i had no say in the matter nor did i say stop
so its just as much my fault
he said that i was all he thought of
he said when he was with my mom
he would imagine that it was me and not her
he said it was me that he really wanted
and that she meant nothing to him
she was just the path he used to get to me
all he wanted was me
she could have been happy
but no i couldnt take it
i could have handled it
it wouldnt of gone on forever
but i just wouldnt bear it
not for her, money, or even for me
i wasnt ready
i didnt want it
not him
not then
i was to young
to scared to hopeless
to alone in life
to vonerable
he saw through me
he saw my soul
and he took it away
i thought that he was just nice
i was so inocent
and he took it away
after that i lost hope
i felt so dirty and alone
nothing goes on after that
everything stops when you realize
realize that your only importance was to be used
and that you mean nothing to no one
it becomes pointless to hold on
why not let go
why not fade away to nothing
why not jump and fall
fall into darkness and trust
trust death
it never lies
it never cheats
its never wrong
and it will always win
so why fight it
why try for so long
why not end it short and sweet
it only takes one suicidal thought
one cut
one rope
or even one jump
but if thats not you
you could try pills they work to
i guess thats a little harsh
but who cares
life is harsh
why is it any different
someone like him
someone who did what he did
shouldnt care cause they kill
they dont kill the person that would be to nice
they kill your trust
your soul
your passion
so they kill
they just kill from the inside out
which is worse i would say
it takes longer
it does more damage
it makes the person wish
wish that it was all over
wish that they didnt have to face another day
wish that they didnt have to live
wish that they were dead
but they are not
and it sucks to go on
and its hard to trust again
but we all get through it
and most of us love again
and we will all move on
so dont dwell on death for to long
cause death will consume you
it will kill you with your own hands
so live life and try to forget

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i wrote this to try and get over what happened to me

 

Comments and feedback welcome be nice

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