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Christmas Tree's
At our house, we have the same artificial tree we've had since I was a baby.
And these days, you can buy an artificial tree that looks exactly like a real one.
So why buy a real one? For the pine scent? (Go out and sniff a pine cone, asshole.)
For the joy of vacuuming pine needles off the rug every day? What?? I don't get it.
And then, after New Year's Day
You see the most depressing thing ever: all the dead, rejected trees sitting out on the sidewalk
Waiting to be taken to the dump. Mutilate a living thing, take it home, hang shit on it
Then kick it to the curb: That's everything evil about America in a nutshell.
