Untitled -- 11.21.2004

Why is it when i like someone they live so far away

I feel so stupid because ive been alone so long and still today

Ive waited so long yet the feelings or words i just canoot say

For im still so confused of these feelings i keep at bay

I want to tell her how i feel but yet im still afraid

I guess god works in mysterious ways

But if thats true whats the point if she doesn't feel the same

It would all be for nothing i would feel so lame

I just don't undesrtand how i can like someone i have not met in person this way

Maybe theres something there or maybe im just crazy

Or im just too afraid and hiding behind the maybe

Life seems full of many chances

No time to stop and take second glances

Words cannot express the way she makes me feel

But usually for me nothing this good is ever real

I feel like ive been cast under a spell

Even after the first night of talking i instantly fell

I lay awake at night wondering till my eyes turn to gel

I really just don't know what to do

There really is no one else i would more enojoy talking to

So many nights i spend thinking about her

I lay awake for hours as my mind races and feelings stir

I just don't get it is there something wrong with me

Would i still feel the same had i lost my virginity

Ive only been close once but its now in the past

It seems nothing good every really lasts

At times i feel alone and wish someone was here

Alcohol seems to be my only friend now so i shall drink another beer

For her to read this and stop talking to me is my only and greatist fear

For no one else i feel could be any closer and dear

Ive talked to many people online before

Ive met some people but it always seems to hit the floor

Yet for some reasone i always come back for more

Looks to me do not matter at all

If personality's match i will fall

At times im feeling down like im drowing in a hole

Feeling drunk and down with an empty soul

She can always make me smile like ive picked up the dice and made the lucky roll

When i drink the words just seem to flutter

When im drunk i will say how i feel i will not stutter

But you must understand that i am like butter

When people toy with my feelings my heart begins to mutter

Now i have even lost my job

I guess maybe im just a drunk wasted slob

Things always seem to just go down hill

If at some point im not able to talk to you i will

Because even when you not around the feelings are here still

There is something missing in my life that i am always trying to fill

More drunk now than ever

For ive never felt better

Ive only experienced pain and very little pleasure

Feeling down now i seek desperate measures

Only experience i have is from my ex

I refused many times even when she begged for sex

In the end she just cheated on me man what a mess

I will not go into detail i need not explain the rest

I guess once again life puts me to the test

I must get up move on and clean up this mess

For i know when i make it is when i feel best

If by chance she felt the same way then i must be blessed








Author's Notes/Comments: 

It may not make much sense but i am drunk so i really don't know LOL what do you expect im so stupid when i am durnk LOL...

View nighthawk21's Full Portfolio
tags:
Theresa G.'s picture

Thanks for thinking of me, god forbid i wasn't at all thinking of you tonight... jk...