Blackness. 6/22/04

The heart.

So close to the surface.

Beating softly beneath my chest.

It would be so simple

to just break through my skin

through the plural cavity

a silver reckoning steadily inside of me

a choke

a dribble of blood flows out of the inside of my mouth in an unnatural way.

As if any way would be natural.

In a few moments I will be dead.

Like every time in a lovers bed.

I am unforgivably, unnaturally, alone.

It just has to be...

this way.

Blackness.

Brown eyes wide open that see nothing.

They never have seen the truth

except when they saw no one

and they never will see truth again.

Ear drums that still capable of hearing

a whimper at my side

but no nerves nor senses left to complete the act.

I can’t hear them ask me why

I couldn’t revel in this irony

that would please me the most.

Nor could I linger in the feeling of

accomplishment that I would derive from

their pain.

I am not able to even try.

Blackness.

A wise man would tell them not to mourn.

That I was born to die alone

tears in the beginning

tears in the end.  




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