Full of You - Take 4

Mnemonic reservoir's filled to the brim
And spilling over
I am full of you...

Mind driven to the threshold of sanity
By thoughts running wild
Thoughts of what could be
A specialist at throwing caution to the wind
Today I pause
Things have changed...
About twelve hundred days ago
Depleted bravado reservoirs triggered survival mode
One life to go
No ammo
No shield
Life just got real
What does tomorrow hold?
Who knows
The loss of My Love bodes nebulous times for me
A tentative title for my collection is
"Laments in the key of She"
Seek salvation in my female friends
Sad compensation
Treat them like the queens their kings don't see
Check marks within my poetry check their reality
Appreciation comes easy to me
An aptitude developed too late
Highly anticipated manifestation
Brought She to the brink
Painfully absent manifestation
Caused her to blink
For eight seconds
When her eyes opened
Something had changed
Depleted tolerance reservoirs
I love you but I can't..."
About twelve hundred days later
The threshold of insanity
Gateway to the abyss
Tempts me with whiffs of nutmeg and vanilla essence
A tired junkie
Drunk off sorrow and reminiscence
I lose the battle to my dependence
And take the first step
Towards the comfort of nothingness.

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