This time without
Be patient my mind says
The hardest time of my life
Seconds into minutes into hours and into days
This time without my wife
When and if it will ever end
The ticking of the clock constantly in my head
This time without my best friend
Waiting for news I know I will dread
Trying to respect rules that have been given
While writing things that will never be seen
Going through the motions of living
Hoping you can understand what I mean
Days of anxiety and despair
All the while dreaming of your smile
This time without the only one I care
Feeling as if my soul is on trial
The hardest part is knowing the end
Knowing that you can stay away
Hoping for messages you will never send
And words you will never say
This time without half of my soul
Waiting and watching for something that will never be
Alone I am destined to grow old
Without the one who means everything to me
I tell myself to let you go
That our time has come and gone
My head tells me this is so
But my heart tells me to carry on
Carry on hope that is lost
This time without my better half
If you can stay away at such a cost
Wondering who now makes you laugh
I can not take another day
Asking questions with only one answer
It is easier for you to stay away
Than to risk a life with me
This time without my wife
Has given me a glimpse into my tomorrows
Without any joy or happiness in my life
My soul filled with heartbreak and sorrows
Occasionally I hold out hope
That my phone will beep or ring
Just giving me enough rope
Enabling my whole being to sing
But its been days out of our time
An eternity costing me any chance or try
My life hanging on a thin line
Wondering how you can even get by
Finding it impossible to completely follow your request
Reaching out with occasional desperation
My stomach turning and a pain in my chest
Like a prisoner put in isolation
If we are meant to be we are meant to be you always say
You must not feel my pain of separation is my reply
A year goes by every day
More and more I realize It’s just a dream in my sky
I have given up any hope we reunite
Not in this life that’s for sure
I just hope that when I see the light
It is you who opens the door
I love you more than I ever thought I could
I look forward to your visits in the night
If I knew what to do anything I would
While I realize I am out of your heart not just out of your sight
This time without my perfect match
Has taught me how much I had
I want to just reach out and catch
That love I want back so bad
I wish I would hear from you
I wish I heard the words I want to hear
I wish I held on to hope for tomorrow
I wish I could hold you near
When I am alone with you at night
It is the best part of my day
All I know to do is try and fight
To make you want to stay
This time without you has scarred me
And made me face the brutal fact
You don’t feel like we are meant to be
You are happier without my act
I am sorry I let you down
I am sorry that it ended this way
I am sorry you can live without me
I am sorry you have no words to say
Facing the end of us and we and our love
Facing your happiness without me around
Facing all the signs from above
Facing the truth that I let you down
I want to say all the right things
And just try and leave you alone
To forget we once exchanged rings
To forget that apart we have grown
I love you now more than ever before
With that love in my heart I have let you go
To live without me and see what is in store
A lasting image of soul exposed to show
Hope is all but lost for me and you
This I know now and have given up hope
I will always be here and there is nothing I won’t do
Swimming in the eternity of my prison moat
This time without the one who means all
Has taught me nothing I didn’t already know
There is nothing and nobody to catch our fall
My heart and my soul tell me so
I never thought you could stay away
But you have and have made it clear
Your life will has continued on to another day
With my role in it not wanted or near
A year goes by every day
i love this line