I saw you watching me
from your safe little perch
outside my window
I know what you are doing
you haven't fully let me go
I see you out there feasting
on my despondency
watching as I wallow
drowned in my own tears
I wish you would come closer
say you want me near
wish I could amend this now
wanting to be clear
you feed me lines
you suck me in
my heart goes out
you won't let me in
I never meant to hurt you
you took me the wrong way
always I've admired you
I only wanted to play
but playtime turned into a fight
I never wanted to incite
now I grieve and mourn the loss
self created muck and dross
I watch you sitting on your perch
as you leave me in the lurch
admiring how you play your game
wishing I could do the same
I miss you and your musing heart
wish that I could still take part
hoping you'll come back to me
I write this now informal plea
I feel your hate, I can relate
you made me see I did create
this chasm that's between us now
I want to fill but don't know how
will you help me find my way?
is there anyway I can repay?
I want to re-earn your respect
find a way to reconnect
you did not deserve my wrath
I now follow a different path
please forgive me of my sins
meet me where the path begins
leave what's happened in the past
no need now to feel aghast
tell me now what I must do
for you to trust I'm being true
a piece of me just died last week
a part of me that's proven bleak
I've entered back into the light
I promise now to be forthright