My days and nights are consumed with thoughts of you again
I reach to text you, but always stop myself
The feeling that I could not hold back anymore
The need to tell you that I wish you to be the first person I talk to in the morning, and the the last before I sleep is more powerful than ever before
Betraying our friendship by allowing my emotions to show.
The possibility of pain and fear of rejection destroys any lingering joy and potential happiness
Devouring all hope that you would ever feel the same
I would rather you believe me cold and not wanting to talk to you
Than to let you look into my eyes and see the love and hurt that hides there.
I dreamed of you again
The feeling so real that the crushing ache of being awake is almost to much
The torture of wanting you to know dominates my heart
I write this hoping beyond all hope that you will read this and know
I’m crazy about you
We could have wacky adventures
We could enjoy quiet moments with our animals and each other.
I’m told no woman will love me as I am not a real man
But I cannot help but feel you are different
I could make you happy
I would follow you wherever your dreams take you
Bringing with me all the love I have to make you smile
Supporting you through all the struggles and anguish that life brings
Cheering you through all your triumphs.
I read something that reminded me of you
A melancholy awareness washes through my body
Holding back tears as I write these few final lines
A deepening sense of loneliness seeping into my heart
I cannot help my feelings toward you
I just hope you can understand that I miss someone and something I never had
And hope my dreams are filled with you again.