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This story is about a boy with a problem.

His problem is this girl who just cant get over him.

But the thing is, is that she never had him.

So what is there to get over?

Well, this boy isnt an ordinary boy.

He is the greatest boy alive.

5'9" of sleek, muscular, curly blonde hair-ness is what I'm talkin about!

Mmmm!!

I mean, he is fine!

Well, this girl is 5'7" of chubby brunette-ness...

Now she aint what this boy wants.

Or, that is what she thinks.

This boy does some bad stuff...

As often as he can, he goes to several of his friends house to smoke what is known as a "bowl".

Now this "bowl" is actually a herb rolled up into a tight ball.

This herb is illegal for some reason too.

No one who smokes it knows why.

I dont even know why!

And I dont smoke nothin!

Well this girl has always been taught not to do bad stuff...

But some bad thoughts have been running through her mind.

She wonders, 'Would he like me more if I did that with him?' so she contacts her chick friend who knows how to hook her up with some of that shit.

But when this girl gets there, she thinks, 'What the hell was I thinkin?' and backs off.

Now I am proud of that girl for backin off... She cool.

Well this boy that she likes also gets drunk.

And when I say drunk, I mean, shit-faced pucking all over the car seat while rallying down the road running over poor wild (or domestic) animals drunk.

This is starting to sound fun to this girl.

So she starts hanging out with 21 year olds who get drunk at the lake every night.

One of them likes her.

She dont know why.

Maybe he just wants to get in her pants?

Who knows.

But she doesnt care, cuz she has got her eye on only one man.

As she sits with these drunk assed fools she remembers the day she almost had that boy.

And it would have been a pretty romantic moment if:

A.) His friend wasnt there.

B.) She didnt act so shy!

C.) She didnt bring up shitty excuses about how he dont treat his girlfriends good.

and D.) If she would have said yes.

She regrets not saying that word...

And she always will!

But that dont matter.

Cuz she still is trying.

And one day, she will know what it feels like to be happy.

And to feel beautiful.

Just so long as she dont give into the temptations of anorexia...

I know that I am about to do that, but food just sounds too good to give up.

So I wont.

And maybe that is why I am such a fatty pig.

But I love it.

Cuz then I have something to look forward to.

Getting skinny.

And I think this girl will have the same thing to look forward to also.

We the same.

We both hate our lifes, and can never get the guy that we want.

Next time I see my dream boy, I can guarantee that I will be raping him on the spot!

You know that movie, "Gone in 60 seconds"?

Well my movie would be, "Raped in 30 seconds"!

I'll tell you that this boy is fine!

As fine as my round ass!

Well... Finer than that of course.

My ass is lumpy!

But he is like sugar on the tip of a chocolate covered smore ice cream cone!

Mmmm MMM!!

I'll tell ya, Aquarious's are my type!

And that's pretty literal!

Cuz I AM an Aquarious!

And if I were some hot hunk, I would definately date me!

I also love Monkeys...

No not the type you find in the wild or in the zoo that if you get bit by you will get HIV or rabies or hepetitis A-B-C;

But the Men that are born under that zodiac sign...

They are Hella fine!

Well back to my story.

I think that this girl and this guy will hook up one day, move to Alabama, get married and have 3 kids named Daisy, Joe, and Billy Bob, and then die in the Bermuda Triangle!

If you dont think so, then tell me!

Cuz I can prove you wrong!

Go ahead!

Challenge my hypothesis!

I bet you cant make up a better one!

Well, that's the end of the story.

I guess it wasnt anything but a bunch of

HORSE-PLAY!