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Back when I knew who I was

Or,

Back when I knew I’d know what I could be

You were hydrogen peroxide

You were rain that came suddenly from a seamless sky

Back when my lungs collapsed

I remember “don’t you give up”

Or,

“We’re almost there”

Gasping for,

1 part nitrogen

1 part oxygen, argon

But the white walls spun like circus wheels

And the soft voices faded like slow credits at the last showing

Where you kissed her goodnight

Where you told him,

See you soon?

Not questioned

But there I was again

Telling jokes to pale faced patients

Back when I was curious

But never lost

I fell in through your door

Where she smiled with eyes brighter than fire

And she knew who I was

She knows who I am

She remembers a hundred years

I seemed to remember…

The air I searched for…

She, her

Him

Me

Fucking calcium

Fucking carbon

Where I breathed in your knowledge

Where I see, as you see, me as I see you

Maybe the other way around?

But now its rooftops

The city breathing underneath

It’s pulse like thunder

Lucid dreams and liquid sleep

You are the green in my eyes

The change of color

Back when I was compound carbon monoxide,

Dreams thick like smoke

I tasted metal

I spoke with god and,

We laughed like children

My theory’s theoretically thorough

Looking for you everywhere

“I never knew you actually existed”

But I seem to remember…