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I have never felt so ashamed of myself

for breaking your heart when you loved me.

I ruined your dreams of marrying me

and having an Olympian daughter named Katie.

Your promise of eating ice cream, riding rollercoasters,

and giving me a full body kissing

will never come true since you're gone.

We dreamed of running away from our lives,

but I ended up making you run from me.

I abused you too much with insults

and my love for an asshole drove you away.

Deep in my hurt and broken heart,

I wanted you to stay with me.

Those painkillers I abused with for months

served as a painful and torturous punishment.

I just want to know if you ever think of me

because your girlfriend resembles me so much.

For almost a year and a half now,

I continuously dreamed of talking to you again

just so I could finally say I am sorry.

You may not care about me anymore.

I deserve to be treated this way,

but for God's sake I just want to see you!

I don't care if you manipulate me again.

Promises were never meant to be broken.

So just hear me say how sorry I truly am...

I am so sorry, Erik...