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Him and Her
She was with them again. She loved them, they were the only ones that could make her laugh. She loved them with all of her heart and with every bit of her soul. Especially him. She found that she was happiest when his head was in her lap and she was playing with his hair, or rubbing his back. But the thought that they weren’t together killed her inside. She needed to get all of the anger and frustration out.
She often found herself sitting on the bathroom floor, accompanied by her green box. The box that held her darkest secret. Her razor blade.
She would press the flimsy metal into her skin, causing it to break, but the break alone wasn’t enough to fill her desire, her need. So she’d repeatedly drag the sharp corners deeper and deeper into her skin, until the thick, warm liquid trickled down her arm, splattering onto the floor. Seeing herself bleed was the only thing that satisfied her.
Without him there to hold her, her life was an empty prison, she it’s only occupant. Alone and cold, she dreamed of death, and things much better than life. If it weren’t for her friends, she would have killed herself off a long time ago. They were what were keeping her alive, they were her food and water. But he was her companion. The one that wasn’t there.
How she longed for someone to talk to in the late hours of the night, for her loneliness was driving her insane. But when she looked beside her, she found the seat vacant, no traces of where he once sat. It seemed as if he was drifting from her, and that alone pushed her off the edge.
He didn’t understand her. For months they’d been best friends, and he had yet to be able to read her clearly. She was good at faking happiness, so good in fact, that you would think she was perfectly content in life. That she was just another happy teenager without a care or worry in the world. But that theory proved to be false.
It pained her to think of what she was about to do to him, but it needed to be done. She was tired of living this way. He was the love of her life, but he saw her as no more than the best friend that was always there for him. The one person who could truly love him the way he needed to be loved, was pushed to the sidelines. It killed her to watch him be with women who would never be able to love him the way that she did, no matter how hard they would try.
It felt, in some strange twisted way, as if she was turning her back on him. But she wasn’t, she’d never. Not intentionally at least.
She hit the small instrument in her pants, and made her way to where he currently resided. She arrived, only to be met with even more of the pain that she was so sick of going through. Her heart stopped in mid-beat, and her lungs felt as though they would collapse. She was with him again. It was supposed to be just the two of them, like old times, when they’d just chill and play video games, or talk endless, pointless, babble. But the fact that she was there just gave her all the more reason to do what she had to.
She eyed the other girl with jealousy and envy before asking to talk to him in private. She wouldn’t beat around the bush. He followed her into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him and turning to face her.
She immediately wrapped her arms around him, embracing him with all of the strength she could muster. She pulled away from him, looking into his eyes, tears falling from her own. She had to do it. It was now or never.
She reached into her pants and cocked the gun. She kissed him softly on the lips, letting them linger there, and hoping he felt her love for him. She pulled away rubbing his cheek with her thumb and muttering, “I’m sorry. I love you, more then she ever could.”
And the sound of a fired gun rung through the air, leaving him to stare with wide eyes at her now crumpled fallen body. He knew he could have prevented this, if only he’d not been so blind. If only he had taken the time out to see how much she truly loved him. A tear escaped his eye and rolled down his blood-splattered cheek.
She was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. The only person that would have given anything for him. He realized for the first time, that she had given him everything he’d ever asked from her, and more, including her undying love.
