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Today I Believe in Heaven

Cairo, Egypt 2015

RIP Vito May 2020

(The original journal entry was written about a memory and realization a couple months prior, almost exactly four years before the passing of a good friend. Here is what it said):

A good friend of mine- who we call Vito, complimented my emotional repetoire one evening while four of us "Allens" were enjoying an evening together. He couldn't quite explain it to my understanding, so he told me "you'll have to look it up. I mean it to be a compliment. I don't really know how to really explain it." That night and the next day I  looked it up. It's a positive inward and outward balance of emotions.  From that point forward I realized just how much being true to yourself is truly important; because even though you cannot see it, or you may be distracted by the moments of darkness and defeat, everyone else can see you- truly you.

I haven't been the same since. Why? Because compliments like that are what makes the world go around.  It's what makes one person realize what we can and cannot control in life. It's what connects one soul to another. To help us remember we are all travelers in this world passing by on our temporary home. A home of heaven and hell created within our own mind. If we feel worthy of heaven, perhaps our souls better ascends into the greater existence of life- when our time comes and we have to pass on.  Perhaps believing in hell on earth means we only have a vague understanding and connection to our own soul. Then hereof reincarnate into these beings again and again until our soul finds peace and love.

I believe in the positive connections. The unity that makes life whole.

While many look into the eyes of a beast within, it may be percieved with hatred, fury and rage. The fight instinct leads one to want to kill the beast. Though some warriors of time don't hesitate with fight or flight. "Live and let die" some say. But the difference between others and ourselves is the way we look deep within and think "live and let live." Look within the eyes of a troubled soul on the same path we cross by fate and look deep within and do so quietly. To feel both the fury of a beast and at least get a pause of peace is the moment the two souls meet. Through our eyes, reaity stops, there is a pause a connection. The actions of a troubled soul may have a troubled outcome, but what about the moments of accumulated positivity. While there were moments our paths crossed and souls connected, there was peace. We (Allens) were kind to one another, we were connected with peace.  Maybe that's why we're the believers. Dreamers. We're emotional, perfectionists and achievers. There was a difference the way we looked within and shared without hesitation.

I live for me, for the posivity, for the image my passer-byers percieve.

I allow myself the emotional release.  This is the reason to believe.

I am me and we are we.

Vito, Thank you for our unity.

May you rest in peace,

for your light will guide my eyes to see.

MB