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AnyWayThruToday
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Truth And when you heart stops relating
your mind starts debating
contradicting what you're saying.
With one finger on the trigger
and the other three staring at me
loss be, quivering
striving for redamancy
cutting cords-
leaving all that's left of me.
Hushing me with my big words
and gifts you see,
I'm a viagro of a woman
only showing you
what I want you to believe.
Self evaluation
drowing in self pity-
they want reflection
but with the smoke in the mirrors
I can barely see
let alone believe
the lies I've lived
that were greater than me.
It's all meant as fun and games
and then came year 18
"it's just what happens,
sometimes love doesn't stay"
but I wasn't aware then that
he was the second man to that day.
And they both walked away.
And I'm not the same.
I wrote a new chapter,
turned the page.
Lived with my biological family,
as my mother was locked and then set free
to start her sober life and come what may.
Now its' just the truth and me,
the only other plot twist since "Year 23"
was that I did whatever it takes-
to make it in this life, I won't break.
Messages to myself so the memories
never die in vein
"I still love you, anyway".
A new verse scripted on a lined page
with lines of minds lost in the same wave
when people ask me what made me this way
when I nodd and feel the pain in their poetry
screaming loud to the back of the crowd
I just smile and say "I can relate"
we've all got a story to share
but we've got to live thru the pain
never speak in vein,
have faith don't go insane,
Just smile when you say
"Love, anyways."
