And when you heart stops relating

your mind starts debating

contradicting what you're saying.


With one finger on the trigger

and the other three staring at me

loss be, quivering

striving for redamancy

cutting cords-

leaving all that's left of me.


Hushing me with my big words

and gifts you see,

I'm a viagro of a woman

only showing you 

what I want you to believe.


Self evaluation

drowing in self pity-

they want reflection

but with the smoke in the mirrors

I can barely see

let alone believe

the lies I've lived 

that were greater than me.


It's all meant as fun and games

and then came year 18

"it's just what happens,

sometimes love doesn't stay"

but I wasn't aware then that 

he was the second man to that day.

And they both walked away.

And I'm not the same.

I wrote a new chapter,

turned the page.

Lived with my biological family,

as my mother was locked and then set free 

to start her sober life and come what may.


Now its' just the truth and me,

the only other plot twist since "Year 23" 

was that I did whatever it takes-

to make it in this life, I won't break.

Messages to myself so the memories

never die in vein

"I still love you, anyway".


A new verse scripted on a lined page

with lines of minds lost in the same wave

when people ask me what made me this way

when I nodd and feel the pain in their poetry

screaming loud to the back of the crowd

I just smile and say "I can relate"

we've all got a story to share

but we've got to live thru the pain

never speak in vein,

have faith don't go insane,

Just smile when you say

"Love, anyways."

View miiranda31's Full Portfolio