I try to but I just
can't remember your laugh.
Not a single photo I peruse
shows you smiling.
Your soul died years ago
and that kills me.
You allowed depression
to take over your bitter heart.
Sometimes I think that
we are so similar.
I may smile more but
inside, I can be very sad.
I joke about suicide,
and sometimes I come close.
I'm not afraid of dying;
I'm afraid of living.
I allowed fear
to take over my broken heart.
But maybe in your death
I can start breathing again.
Perhaps the love of life
will return to me.
I don't want to die regretting
that I never experienced...
fearlessness.