I've died a hundred times
in a hundred different ways
at the hands of a hundred men.
And I find myself still bleeding
even after all these years.
The chapter(s) closed but
there are pages yet to be written.
The sweet memories linger,
but the heartache cuts deeper.
One chose his friends over me,
another picked drugs instead.
One lied through his teeth;
others ghosted me.
I've been called crazy, clingy,
selfish, manipulative.
I've had my heart broken,
my spirit crushed.
I've known love that faded
and love that was unrequited.
One touched me in ways
no one ever had.
I gave myself completely to another,
but it still wasn't enough.
They all killed me
a little at a time,
each with a dagger through my heart.
I've been drained dry,
but the wound reopens
every time I touch it.
And it pours out violently
and I realize I haven't healed,
not in these thousands of verses.