I coat my throat with alcohol
so my thoughts can clear.
I have to feel numb so I can
plaster this smile on my face.
I let my eyes glaze over
so the tears don't come.
I have the world get blurry
so I don't notice my life in ruins.
It's become the only way
I can face you every night.
When I don't feel like myself,
I forget the pain you caused.