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I coat my throat with alcohol
so my thoughts can clear.

I have to feel numb so I can
plaster this smile on my face.

I let my eyes glaze over
so the tears don't come.

I have the world get blurry
so I don't notice my life in ruins.

It's become the only way
I can face you every night.

When I don't feel like myself,
I forget the pain you caused.