Yesterday was anger-
I hated you
for hurting me.
All I could think about
was how you were
a perverted piece of shit.
Today is denial
as I come to grips
with this lack of you.
This hole in my life
that you consumed
for so long.
Then the sadness hits me
as I read through
our conversations.
Your humanity
shined through
although I didn't notice.
You were a mystery to me,
an enigma I never understood.
But looking back now I see
you were there for me when
I had no one else to turn to.
You held my hand
during some of
my hardest times.
One day I hope
that I can accept it
for what it was,
for its beauty and its mess.
I yearn to look back on
our season together
with fondness and thankfulness.