I have never been
comfortable with my sexuality;
it's always felt taboo.
I knew fooling around was a sin,
but I justified my actions
because I had needs after all.
I looked for myself in others;
I thought lust would
make me love who I was.
But all it did was cause
a rift between my dignity
and my sense of self-worth.
I floated from person to person
looking for affection and attention
that would never validate me.
Nothing ever satisified;
temporary pleasure always
led to permanent scars.
Now my husband kisses my wounds;
it's damn near impossible
to uncorrupt the marriage bed.