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I wonder sometimes if Satan knew he was bound to fall. That there was something so dark in him that he could never be light. He just couldn't be anything but the Prince of Darkness. 

I feel that way sometimes. Not like Satan in that I want to hurt other people. Not at all. That is the last thing I would want to do. But in the way that I want to hurt myself. I want to internalize all this pain that I feel like I deserve for the darkness within me.

But the darkness is not what consumes. For light can filter into the darkest place and brighten it. It can change it completely even with the smallest flame. Light always overcomes light. Not the other way around.

So maybe I am not the purest of souls but I am not an angel after all. There is some comfort in that. I am human. I am flawed. I am light and I am dark. And there is nothing wrong with that. There is some hope for a future where I am brighter than today.