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Sleepless nights.
All my dreams are a sort of nightmare.
There's just faces that I can't remember.
Sometimes I can't make sense of anything that's happening at all.
My dreams frighten me.
I wonder what's wrong with me.
I have happy dreams, that torment me with there secretive sadness.
I dream about the people I loved, who left, like they still care for me.
I dream of the people who can't be with me at all.
But it's the most important faces that are missing from my dreams.
Sometimes people don't look like themselves, or sound like themselves.
Sometimes the people act how I want them to and that's what really gets me.
The people in my dreams are the only connection I have to the real person, but they don't have personalities.
All the people in my dreams are me, just missing those people, crying out for them silently.
The faces of some of the people who've left aren't there.
I know who I was with, what we were doing and I can even almost feel them touch me.
I believe my mind doesn't want the sadness of those faces ruining my dreams.
It's late and I really should sleep, but the last time I dreamed, I woke up broken.
Like so many times before, I woke up and I laid in bed for hours, trying to pull my pieces back to fitting order, before finally getting up.
I'm a lost, fragile girl, but yet I've built myself so strong.
Some days, I don't talk to anyone, I don't want to.
I built this wall around myself for so long, so that it would be strong, to keep everyone away.
I don't let people in anymore, because they can come while I'm fine and leave with a piece of me that I wasn't aware of bargaining.
