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The present is on my mind
As I sit here in a starbucks shying from the hot sun hanging over the El Paso Mountains, I listen to the work being done behind the counter. The russling of cups and packaging, the mixing of drinks and the detailed directions consorted amongst the employees. All the customers inside are quiet, doing their thing upon their laptops, learning knowledge. I sit here with a green tea, I asked for ice cubes to be placed inside for the temperature otherwise would surely burn my tongue, for I haven't the patience to wait and let it cool. My sanctuary for now is this starbucks in town, being homeless, jobless and seemingly friendless, for now this is the place where I will recollect my thoughts, what I did wrong. This is where I vent, transmutating my anger into coherent sentences.
The cards that have been drawn to me, why resist, in the past I would deny until I would grow a cyst or a boil it's true what Freud said we want pleasure and avoid turmoil. But it's a balancing thing to have pain with pleasure, how can have you have one thing and not the other. Maybe it's not necessary to resist pain, perhaps in feeling it wholly I will cease to complain, and rather find some solution or some momentary gain be it wisdom, an idea or even materially, for now is not the time to be aloof, seriously.
