PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Sitting here

staring at my dirt infested monitor

I begin to consider what my life really means to me.



I think to myself about what I have done

what I have not done

what I want to do

and what I will do.



Yet, somehow I find it hard, hard to concentrate.

My confusion overwhelms me, and a tear falls from my eye.

I cannot explain or reherse or rewrite any of this,

for I am just typing away, not thinking of what to say.



I need to hit the ground running, but

I dont know what my next step is, and

I have only put on one shoe.



I wish I could apologize,

wish I could be forgiven.

Expectations are to high, and I just wish I were forsaken.



Yes, this is a bit dramatic but truely, what do you do when your are a ghost in your own home?

I got a call from a friend,

my father picked up the phone,

I was downstairs watching tv.

I came in contact with this friend a day later, she asked "why didn't you return my call?" He told her I wasn't hone



I have to comment, that

I dont know how it feels,

To have the freedom every adolecent through young adult wishes to have

because its a trade off, freedome for love.



I'm sure my parents love me, at least my mother does

I just havent felt it, felt for so long.



What is it like to be loved? I mean really.

whats it like not to be afraid to make a mistake?

or make a wrong move?

I live my life in fear, masked from most of the world.

I may appear to have no shame, but

I'm afraid I'm afraid I'm afraid.



I usually face my fears, fight them till they are gone

but I cannot fight this mighty foe,

for its face I do not know.

I have never

seen it, smelled, heard it, tasted it, touched it.

yet it scares me in my wake, and it haunts me in my sleep.