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Forced to breath
The sun was going down and I caouldnt miss its reflection at that
faraway building windows! It seemed to me at that moment as pure as the
reflection of my life at the deepest deep of my lonesome soul!! The way it
was shinning behind the buildings with magical lines cutting out that
cloudy sky easily took my mind away of conscious! It simply took me
beyond my own dreams and made me think what comes after that magical scene
I keep on living over and over in my stupid head every single night
without getting bored!! The way it colors the skies above and how
admirably all those colors get mixed up together to show the simple beauty of
nature that forces everyone to slide deeper to his own soul to find the
true story he was born to live! I saw how faraway mountains were
begging the sun to stay up there shinning fearing the cold of the night; no
matter how warm and nice the weather would be! No matter how beautiful
feelings the moon might reflect at your heart inside, no matter how the
stars would show you the weakness of your strong image you have drew
through out the passed span! I was thinking… its maybe the silence of the
night what made them afraid, maybe it's just that all that silence
caused an empty space that keeps on reminding them of the forgotten
thoughts buried inside them, maybe its just that all that silence made an echo
within the soul to create a greater sound of their thoughts and
feelings that even the rock would be afraid to show fearing it might get
broken!!!
That harmful silence (I know it's not harmful but it's just that they
don’t want to admit the truth deep inside) produced the fear of the
emptiness, and of hearing the things they are still avoiding! It just
makes it easy to hear the arrhythmic beating that even angels could hear
when someone's heart is beating randomly and making the silence drown
into the deepest part of that full empty sky!
I can tell, its too easy to fall in love, its simply as the falling
of a mountain, you keep on falling 'till you are saved, maybe someday
someone will... if not … then get ready for plenty of pains!!! Though I
know it doesn’t mean I'm right, it's not easy but it means that we were
born with those locked feelings waiting for that special someone to
take them out! Yes, humans were born to love, and wait 'til that person
shows up, deep inside we'll know he's the one you were in love from the
1st breath you took! And that's what made it harder to admit that its
love after holding those pure feelings inside within the passed 20 years
or so 'til u got poisoned with the meaning of the past! I know it could
be foolish what I'm saying, and yes! This is what I started to convince
my self about lately! I know I became someone else, and I know more
that I'm at the stage of no return to where I was!
I don’t know what am I supposed to do for the next step, and I don’t
know what's the future holding for me! I have no idea what's coming
next and I'm sure no body knows! I just wish I'd have a clue so I'd go on!
I know I'm dying here though he brings me to life every time I look
deep into his eyes to see how magnificent that look seems in his eyes! I
know it’s a truth that i love him... but i couldnt realize that my love
to him did FORCE ME TO BREATH!!!!
The END!!!!
25/07/2004
