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My inner child.
Truly delving deeper into her mind, She seems to find the worst in herself. "She's a train wreck," they say. Only, not straight to her face. She has so much unrecognized talent, overlooked emotions that she feels nobody would understand. Well, I would understand. Because I know that I feel them too. She sits in her room, music pounding at her ears, she's trying to hold back everything inside, but it's clawing through her skin, through her heart, through her brain. I see her in my mind, dragging a knife across her wrist.
Black out.
Her story is simple. She grew up with threats and abuse. Her only stability is the broken picket fence she built around her heart. She's withering away, decaying from the inside out. She no longer feels the high from life. Just the pain it never fails to bring. Now the only thing she has to take her away is a blade. A cutter at heart? No, she isn't. She's the sweetest thing. But nobody ever figured that out. She's the quiet girl, the broken emotions from everyone, fused together in her. She tries to help, but only gets a slap in the face. She's, in essence, the song that no'one sings. But she has yet to know that she is my lullaby.
The pure, raw emotions that I spill out onto my guitar reek of her. The intoxicating flow of words that never reach my lips. All she needs is love, to have something to hold on to. A reason to wake in the morning. Somebody to listen to her fragile mind, somebody to pick her up when she falls. She needs me. But I can't give her what she needs. Because in reality, She is me.
God, I know I need this.. I need to defeat this. This girl is who I've become, because I've done nothing more than push away anybody who ever mattered. I let go, and this is who I am. Truth is, I need somebody to hold on to. Something to wake up for in the morning. A lullaby when I need to sleep. I need somebody to listen to my fragile mind, somebody to help me up when I fall. I need Her, but she can't give me what I need..
