What If?

What If I 

Could never pull through? 
What if I 
Never got over you?
 
What if I 
Kept up this life I'm living?
What if i
Grew cold and quit giving?
 
What if I 
Pretended it never hurt?
What if I
Buried myself and feelings in the dirt? 
 
What if I 
Pushed everyone out?
What if I 
Lived only in fear and doubt?
 
What if these
Scars never faded? 
What if my 
Thoughts never invaded?
 
What if I 
Was never found?
What if I 
Started to drowned? 
 
What if I 
Never got better? 
What if I
Wrote you a letter?
 
And what if I 
Gave you a reason?
What if I told you
It's because of your treason? 
 
What if I 
Left everything unsaid?
What if one day 
You found me dead?  
 
And what if I 
Took the chance?
And what if I 
Gave my bible a glance?
 
And what if I 
Made it through? 
Or what if I 
Dedicated my death to you? 
 
There's tons of possibilities
And there's no real answer 
I feel it's too late
My mind has spread like cancer   
 
I'm just so confused
And I want to be okay
I'm sick and tired 
Of running away..
 
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