PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

My friend's mother once told me the story of how she realized she was small. How she stood on the edge of the cliff in California and felt the ocean swallowing her whole even though she was on dry land. Told me what the war between the Earth and Sky felt like as it reverberated up her back.

And I didn't understand.

I didn't understand how this six foot tall woman whose skin was dark as night and hair rang with beads and bells could ever feel small. The woman who told us stories of African princesses and princes who looked like she could be Queen.

Me? I have always felt small. I have small ears and a small nose. Small hands and feet. I am big in all the places I wish not to be. I needed no help to feel small. I feared the feeling she told me about. Swamped by nature, just another bully I couldn't control.

I was already so small.

And when it happened to me, I finally understood. I wasn't anywhere near a cliff or large bodies of water. I was watching the abandoned swings move on their own in the wind, counting the patches of rust on the once newly painted red swing set.

And it snuck up on me. It didn't hit me or swallow me in one giant gulp.

Slowly my vision went from such a small view, of me in a park, alone. To how small and how big I actually was.

I was forced to look at my life for what it was, how many people wouldn't care if I died how the world would keep spinning. I saw how many lives I affected and how my every breath was worth it.

Billions of people would not care if I died. But thousands of people have been helped through me. The lives I saved saved other lives and the people I stood up for stood up for other people.

I realized I would never save the world, I might not ever save even 1/16 of the world or 1/16 of the people I met.

But as an ant ran over my shoe as I sat there on the cold metal bench and a bee flew past my head.

It didn't matter. None of it. How small we were, how big we were. How arrogant how humble how easy how hard.

And I felt like a Queen like no one could tell me no, that every hardship was just another step.

And for once in my tiny body I felt big.

I felt big knowing I was small.