Nothing Inside

Walking around with this huge smile upon you'r face no one, know's rather your truly happy or just holding back the pain.

You walk around all day long with an smile on you'r face like the time, you had just found out the worst new's in the world you was smilin from ear to ear.

You sit there and say you'r happy and put up this fake smile but at night, all you can feel upon you'r face is wetness from the tear's that have fallen down the night before you try to act as if everything's okay and smile and go on but there's something missing inside of you'r soul  from the tear's that have fallen down the night before. You try to act as if everything's okay and smile and go on but there's something missing inside of you'r soul.

You lye awake at night in you'r bed with an million thought's running thru you'r mind, you close you'r eye's hopeing that they will disapear but when you open you'r eye's you can still feel all the problem's laying on you'r chest.

You try to think of happy thought's of what it was like when you used to be happy and used to have friend's but now the friend's you once knew have all vanished into the night and you wonder, if it is something that you have done or said to them to make them just all go away all at one time you try to smile and forget you'r past and the hurt that it has brought upon you but no matter how hard you try forget or make it go away it's in you'r dream's haunting you until you wake up cold and shaking and can not take no more.

You think of way's to just escape it all just one little way you could escape everything but nothing seem's to work you think that maybe if you just closed you'r eye's just try to think of something else for a second of two that, just maybe all this pain and all you'r problem's will go away but when you open you'r eye's all you'r problem's are standing infront of you and they have all came back ontop of you 10x's harder than before.

You get to the point where you can not stand no more and you start to think who would care rather you lived or died and what difference would it make if you was here or gone at one time you use to feel loved you used to feel this, love that was so strong and so deep inside you'r heart but now it's nothing there it's all gone even your cute smile the way you used to laugh and smile the way you would walk like you was the happiest person on this earth it's all sliped away right along with you'r cold body on the inside.  

There was people who used to say you was the happiest person they knew that was still alive and the only person who could make them laugh at rough time's and at funnerial's but here lately all we, seem to see upon you'r face is the cold dark frown and we do not know what's wrong or how to help you we keep thinking that one day you will brake free and you will be back to you'r ole self again.

Little did we know that time was running out just as your whole body was giving in it couldn't take no more you couldn't pretend to be happy you couldn't stand to lay there in bed every nite and cry you'rself to sleep, we alway's thought it will pass that you wouldn't be like this forever but one morning we went into you'r room and we saw you laying there blue in the face body an pale color and we knew right then in there what have happend to you.

You left us an letter and told us how sorry you was for doing this and how you knew we would be upset but you couldn't fake it any longer you couldn't sit there and pretend to be happy and smile, when on the inside you was already dead we loved you and we knew that we didn't know how to help you but we will miss you forever and always we hope you are happier and in an better place.

You left us at such an young age we never thought that you would do this to use but an week later after you'r death we found the letter you have wrote us an few day's before you took you'r life, what it said inside the letter made us cry and it made us sad you said you wasn't happy anymore you'r life is just one big mess and you never feel like you used to and your sorry for making all of our live's one big hell hole.

You asked us could we please tell the one you loved so dearly that you forgive her for doing the thing's she did to you we don't know what she did, and right now that doesn't matter all is forgiving and you made us see just how special friend's and family is to us all.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

By Heather R Feazel.
My Poem

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