Why did i let myself fall for you  why did i let myself get so wrapped up in us that i couldnt even see the pain when it was infront of my eye's.

why do i tell myself i'll be okay and that i'll see you tommrow. when i know its not true and i know i wont talk to you tommrow.

how come i keep thinkin that everything will be okay if you just hold me in you'r arms.

i must be one of those girl's who fall inlove with a guy who looks so perfect and so inocent and sweet. i tell myself that everything is okay between us.

that we just having one of those moment's that every couple's have. What if it's not okay and what if it never gets back to the way it was in the first when we first said i love you and felt it inside our hearts and soul's.

i just wish i could see you more often and have more time to spend togeather and say i love you. It's funny how i know we will look back on this and maybe you will see what i saw that was so wrong in our realtionship maybe you won't tho but i'm hurting so bad inside and not having you near is making the pain even more worse, i don't do anything but sleep and wait on you thinkin you will call and say everything's okay and that you love me.

I try to sleep and try make the day's and nights go by quicker but that doesn't work, i wake up thinkin maybe you've called me or maybe you will come by but hour's start to pass and still no word from you.

I wish i could make you see how much it hurts me whenever you do these thing's to me. It's like a thousand knife stabbing me over and over again the pain is gettin so hard and so tough to ignore and hide.

I tell myself everything's okay and that i know you love me but at time's have some doubts about our love and how can i keep my head up and stay so strong, not knowin what you doing or where you'r at i love you so much but it's starting to drive me more insane and more depressed then i am already.

You tell me that you will come over or that you will call me but i never see you and i never hear you'r voice it's been month sense ive seen you or even heard you'r voice, i keep thinkin that maybe something's wrong or maybe you'r just having a bad time and you just wan't to be alone but i just wish i had the answer's and that i knew what was really going on inside you'r head i love you so much but it hurts so bad at time's sitting here worried and thinkin about you 24/7 non stop and it's really tearing me up inside that we are not that close anymore.

We never have time by ourself's and when you do come over we never talk we just lay there and watch tv or listen to music or the OTHER thing, it feel's like at time's that maybe sex was the only thing that could keep our realtionship strong and keep it going.

You tell me how much you love me and miss me but there are time's and moment's where i can not go on and all i hear is a rumor's and you tell me, just to ignore it and dont worry and don't let shit bother me but how the hell can i do that if you'r never around  and you never call.

I love you so much but i'm so pissed and so hurt deep inside and not being able see you for stupid ass reason's just makes me even more pissed off, but you don't seem to care or even give a shit about how i feel you always think shit is GREAT between us and that everything is perfect but you'r so wrong and i don't even know how to tell you what's really going on inside my head anymore.

I cry over you every single day and night and i'm always wondering where you are and if you'r okay and you will call me and let me know how thing's are going for you, and if everything's alright between us but no i never hear from you or see you and it really makes me more depressed just sittin around thinkin about you and "us".

I don't wan't to do anything or even move on because i love you so damn much but at the same time it really hurt's and tearing me, apart in the inside to just sit around and wait for you to come see me or even call me.

We was so happy i mean everyday we saw eachother you and i both had the biggest smile on our face and i just don't understand how you can say that you was not happy when almost everyday that we was togeather you was always smilin and laughing, or was that all just one front to get in good with my family and me i need the answer's to all these question's.

You said you was not happy but everyone in my family could tell you was happy even my neice could see that she was always talkin about how cute we was togeather and how perfect we seemed to be i just don't know what to do or say anymore, you was always saying everything will be okay but how can you say that now.

Look back on the time's we had the time's we made eachother laugh the time's we had just to our self's, you told me you'll always love me everything felt and seemed so perfect like livin in another fairy tale again and the sad part is i went through so much hell just be with you and that if i had the chance to do it all over again i would.

Week's have passed and we are still not back togeather but all i keep hearing still is people talkin shit about me and you even tho were not even togeather anymore i could remember back when we was not even having problem's when you thought that everything was okay between us, but to tell you the truth you and i both knew and still know that thing's were never perfect between us i will agree we had some good time's and bad time's but most of the time's we had togeather was so good and i would not trade them in for any amount of money in the world there is nothing or anyone could buy or try gain the love that

i have and had for you deep down inside.

I'm trying move on and put the past behind me and trying to forget about all the good time's we had togeather and all the time's you made me laugh and smile but everytime i lay down in my bed all i can do is think about you and wishing, i just had one more chance to make thing's right again but why would i ever wan't to be back in that hell you made me laugh and smile and i will never forget you for that but there was time's where i didn't even hear from you or much less see you walk into my front door you was never there for me you was always lying and always cheating behind my back i think thing's might have been better if you would have  just be straight up honest with me in the first but you had go behind my back and find some other nasty skanky ass whore and that hurt more than anything i will never be able forgive you for this you was my life my soul my everything and you just took it away when i was starting to care more and more about you how could i ever forgive you for this and take you back not knowing if you will do this again or not i love you but i can not sit back and watch this happend anymore.

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