Girl whose just interrupted

I am too numb to feel anything

But this pain of nothingness.

Of not knowing what to do

Or what I am doing with my life.



Everything in my life seems okay,

Except me.

Which makes everything

So out of control.



I used to make things happen.

Now, I am immobile.

I am missing a lot,

Wasting a lot.



Spoiling myself,

I could rot  here sitting all day.

Put me in the trash bag,

And throw me away.



Sometimes I want to slap myself hard,

To justify my indulgences and apathy.

Or numb me from my own stupidity.

But even that is a stupid thing to do.



Silent, cold tears of my heart,

Piercing though this empty soul.

Anger, regrets, guilt, frustrations.

Freezing me. I could break into pieces.



What have I become? I don’t know.

I used to be the highway…

Now I am the rolling wheels.

Too much insanity? Stop it.



The warrior princess of many,

Has become the “ballerina in the music box.”

Dancing in a sad symphony, trapped in her own world.

I am supposed to be smiling- BUT I AM NOT.

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