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Maybe God had a meeting
Maybe God had a meeting and made up freedom. Open minded, free thinker, a curse . I believe I would give it all back. The thoughts from the past, it's not worth this for that. I'd rather be dumb and relaxed with a lifetime of laughs, and live to possibly be a part time- low life underachiever if that. Settle for no thoughts and be happy at last... Cuz these days in ways I can't explain change my feelings from joy to pain and to ease all the strain- I lie to my face, facade the facts. I feel ashamed, cried for, I've stained my soul black, halfway insane, crazy mind warped with nats. A million voices at once afraid to talk back, a million outcomes the bad ones I live life like that. But death is a dream, an escape so it seems, in fact the final chance to be free, unchained of the grief. But I've cheated that, so I should have died past and before... Maybe I'm meant for something, maybe I just imagined the horror. It's my luck of course to get worse. No problems with how I was raised just no one can help. Feels like nonstop in my skull, sadness is felt. I've just grown accustomed to someone always being upset, promised to keep the secrets buried, kept locked in a chest, that's not to be opened except to confide in yourself. If life was a test, I'd be first to fail. To screw up my chances, thinking o well. If I was down, I'd choose not to prevail, if souls could be bought, id put mine up for sale. God just show me something more to live for than hell.. And so it's nights like these I just can't change my mind. Tell them freedom meant free thinker to praise my demise.
