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I don't blame you for never being there for me,

My mom was selfish and in the end, wanted to be free.

So she walked away from you and left me with out a dad,

And I have to wonder if you were in my life, would my life have been so bad?

My childhood was a very scary hell, I was hurt for a lot of years,

I lost count of the endless tears.

My mom worked all the time and was never home,

My oldest brother and I raised my little brothers and tried our hardest to give them a good home,

My step dad was worthless,

And every chance he got, he beat us.

I grew up  and learned the hard lessons in life way too fast,

I spent most of my life looking for a future, but not able to deal with my past.

I used to pray when I was little that you would come save me.

I wanted so bad to break free.

But year after year, you never came and soon I gave up hope,

I tried to make the most of my life, doing my best to cope.

I feel like you missed out on so much of my life, my first words, my first steps, my first day of school, my first broken heart.

And when I wanted to look for you I did not know where to start.

When I finally found you I was so happy, I had the dad I never had.

But all my life I wanted so bad.