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Let's Do It

By Muriel Palanca

Let’s do it in your walk in closet or the backseat of your car.

Let’s do it in the veggie patch behind my neighbor’s yard.

Let’s do it on a camping trip in a tent beneath the sky.

Let’s do it on a sandy beach cause it’s cliché and I’d like to try.

Let’s do it in the summer rain. Use my umbrella for protection.

Let’s do it in a security vault and try to escape detection.

Let’s do it in a grocery store. We’ll pick plastic instead of paper.

Let’s do it in a Happy Harry’s. Get happy now instead of later.

Let’s do it while we’re renting videos. Let’s make a movie of our own.

Let’s do it together because it’s kinda lame to do it all alone.

Let’s do it in Victoria ’s secret. I don’t know why she kept it.

Let’s do it on my teacher’s desk and get a few inches of extra credit.

Let’s do it beneath a Christmas tree covered in Mistletoe.

Let’s do it on a Monopoly board and collect $200 as we pass go.

Let’s do it on a quiddich field. I promise I won’t snitch.

Let’s do it in a vampire’s coffin. Edward can be Jacob’s bitch.

Let’s do it in the great glass elevator of Willy Wonka’s factory.

Let’s do it in the forests of middle earth and give Sauron a sight to see.

Replace the one to rule them all with a vibrating rubber ring.

Then, let’s do it like hobbits on shrooms cause I can handle bigger things.

Let’s do it in a prison cell and you’ll get handcuffed to the bars.

Let’s do it on a skyscraper like King Kong crushing cars.

Let’s do it where the wild things are cuddled in a furry pile.

Let’s do it on the Mona Lisa. I know it will make her smile.

Let’s do it on a golfing course. Try to score a hole in one.

Let’s do it with Elmo on Sesame Street . I bet it tickles when he comes.

Let’s do it in an aquarium because it’s fishy when it’s wet.

Let’s do it on the internet in the chatroom where we met.

Let’s do it in an old phone booth so you can star my 69.

Let’s do it in a Mickey D’s. Put your Big Mac between my fries.

Let’s do it in a bathroom stall. Like the mile high club only lower.

Let’s do it like the tortoise did. You’ll win the race if you go slower.

Let’s do it in an orphanage so we can show children how they’re made.

Let’s do it in a hukilau. Hawaii ’s fun cause you get laid.

Let’s do it in a pizza hut cause I know you can deliver.

Let’s do it in an ice cream truck cause your soft serve makes me shiver.

Let’s do it on a magic carpet so we can reach higher places.

Let’s do it in a wind tunnel and like mimes, we’ll make funny faces.

Let’s do it in the Notre Dame cause Quasi Modo needs some porn.

Let’s do it in a hospital while a baby’s being born.

Let’s do it in an Amish farm, like milking cows and churning butter.

Let’s do it in a bowling ally. Your balls can strike instead of gutter.

Let’s do it for a charity. Make some money while we get it on

And give the proceeds to an AIDS foundation before the people are all gone.

Or let’s just do it on your queen sized bed because the simple is just fine with me.

Wherever you are is the best place in the world and it’s exactly where I want to be.